O Say Can You Please Entry 10: White Rabbit Down
    Before we begin, let’s take a moment to pay respects to the victims of two recent mass shootings. Between these events, at least 31 people were murdered in cold blood in incidents of domestic terrorism. Therefore, we must not only keep them and their families in our thoughts, but we must do more…
Welcome back to O Say Can You Please, the punk take on current events! Yes, I finally have a tagline, but that’s not the important part. We got a story the size of a red giant star for you today, so settle in.
The story is that Jeffrey Epstein is dead. Back in Entry 8, I mentioned that I’d keep an eye on this case. I have, and when I found out he killed himself, I immediately knew that the Internet conspiracy theorists would have a field day. However, I’m going to sum all of that up after I tell how this all happened. Basically, some time after his arrest, Epstein was found in his cell with marks on his neck from either a botched hanging or a prison assault. As a result of that, he was placed on suicide watch, but that didn’t quite work, considering he still managed to hang himself and actually buy the farm this time. Granted, he was taken off the watch list a while before his death, but either way, the prison team had one job and failed at it miserably.
An FBI investigation into the matter was quickly launched by Attorney General William Barr, but since it started yesterday, nothing’s come out yet. What we do know is that the jail violated an agreement made with the Justice Department about how Epstein would be treated following his previous likely attempt. The agreement mandated a cellmate and for a guard to look into his cell every 30 minutes. He was basically on the watch list practically, but not on the actual list. Considering that this is all being written, that didn’t quite work, and Epstein ended up mostly dead (but slightly alive when it comes to conspiracy theories, and we’ll get to that.)
 It is also worth mentioning that his death does not mean the end of either the investigation into his pedophilia ring or the civil lawsuits coming right at his estate. His accusers are angry, and an angry plaintiff with a decent case is a threat to any defendant, let alone a pedophile. Due to all of this, the civil side of his case will live on for some time, even if the criminal case is as deceased as he is.
Now, we’ll finally get to the conspiracy theory, and this one is a doozy. To sum it and all the others up…
 
    There are people implicating the Clintons in the incident on America’s soft underbelly that we 
call the Internet. They’re all nuts, in my opinion. Was the death conveniently timed for the rich and powerful? Absolutely, but the evidence here is still practially non-existent. Let’s start with the theory featuring the right wing’s favorite punching bags, Bill and Hillary Clinton. We all know Bill has a bit of a history with Epstein, but so do a lot of other  “elites” in the upper echelons of American politics, media, and law. Anyway, this particular conclusion is easy to reach for some, but the evidence is scant without stretching the existing photo evidence of the two hanging out decades ago. Also, politicians are generally stubborn and tough to work with, and Bill and especially Hillary strike me as particularly such. That would explain the suicides of some of their staffers much more easily. Also, if the Clintons actually were responsible for deaths as Trump says, it is entirely possible that he would be in much more trouble than he is now, and that’s saying a lot. Our President has spread baseless ideas like this before, but saying political rivals ordered a hit on someone just to protect themselves is a whole new level of ridiculous. And now, for a particularly unsatisfying hot take… 
   
Thank you, and have a great day!